Letting Go

I was reminded of something that I seem to have forgotten. Similar to sorting through old boxes and finding the fabulous things that had been buried under the struggle to discover your own `holy grail'; the fountain of bliss or whatever name you decide to call it. It is such a simple thing that it brings about a `wow' moment.

Imagine yourself as a soldier going into battle. You put on your uniform of camouflage to make you less visisble. Then you wrap your belt around you and tie it tight. You put on your boots that can negotiate any terrain. You then start strapping your weapons on. By the time you are ready you have just increased your weight by 75%, but that's ok because now you are ready for anything, aren't you?

Don't we all wear the soldier's gear to face everyday life? We spend most of the time on alert with our minds checking out the area for incoming threats. If she says this then I will say this; if he asks me to do anything outside of my job description then I will refuse point blank and tell him that it is not within my remit. Why is it always me that has to do this? Why can't I have a chance of doing that? I am so sick of .....

Sometimes you return home feeling good because you won the battle. By why does everything have to be a battle? Why do we always have to be prepared for combat?

We have free will; it came as part of the package when we arrived. What weighs heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of emotion? Would you even consider picking up a ton of bricks without a forklift truck or other mechanical device? But most of us carry around a ton of emotion(s) without a thought and we cradle them to us as if we have to protect them. What is an emotion? There are many varieties of it, but what is it exactly?

Wikipedia describes it as:

`Emotion is the complex psychophysiological experience of an individual's state of mind as interacting with biochemical and environmental influences. In humans, emotion fundamentally involves "physiological arousal, expressive behaviors, and conscious experience"[1]. Emotion is associated with mood, temperament, personality and disposition, and motivation. The English word 'emotion' is derived from the French word émouvoir. This is based on the Latin emovere, where e- (variant of ex-) means 'out' and movere means 'move'.[2] The related term "motivation" is also derived from the word movere.'

It also goes on to say:

`People often behave in certain ways as a direct result of their emotional state, such as crying, fighting or fleeing. If one can have the emotion without the corresponding behavior, then we may consider the behavior not to be essential to the emotion. Neuroscientific research suggests there is a "magic quarter second" during which it's possible to catch a thought before it becomes an emotional reaction. In that instant, one can catch a feeling before allowing it to take hold.'

Let's look at that ``magic quarter second'during which it's possible to catch a thought before it becomes an emotional reaction.' We all know that the wrong reaction can bring about demolition of life as we know it. Although, unlike bombed buildings that can be rebuilt, words and actions in human interaction more often than not bring about the instant death of a relationship or the drip of finality that continues unseen until one day something irrelevant brings everything crashing down.

So, say that we practised the art of living in the now. Not yesterday or tomorrow, but now. Some people like to weave a story around their everyday lives, in some ways it is to keep the audience amused or emotionally involved. Most times the actual situation was minor on the rictor scale, but by adding a pinch or two of `seasoning' it can become an epic. If it brings laughter to those around you; an escape from their own thoughts just for that while then maybe it should be considered a tonic. However, if like the media tends to do, you hold your audience enthralled by making an incident the size of shadows and equally as black without warrant then what good does that bring?

Yesterday we were returning from walking the dogs around the field and there was a car being choked, throttled even. It annoyed me so I turned around and walked over to where a young girl was turning the ignition and texting at the sametime - multi tasking, fabulous! I tapped on the window and told her she was flooding the engine, but I was wrong. She was actually refusing to give the engine any fuel. She said her alternator was playing up and so I asked her to test her lights, all working. So I asked her to release the handbrake and I pushed the car just a foot or so - obviously she was out of the car after being requested. Then I told her to try again and this time just gently put her foot on the accelerator and the car started. She thanked me and drove away. Did I feel smug about winning? No, I felt good because the problem was solved and peace returned. No real fuss or bother.

Anyway, back to the beginning. What did I rediscover? Letting Go. Not bowel wise, wit!!! Try this at home or the office, wherever you are:
Pick up a pen and hold it in your hand. Hold it very tight, no tighter than that, no tighter than that even. Does it feel uncomfortable? Then just release it. Try it again; and again noticing the difference between holding it tight and letting it go.

Keep trying it and come back here tomorrow and we'll talk some more.